Sunday, January 24, 2010

Gratuitous blonde-abuse

I like 'em, you like 'em, so why not? Another blonde joke:

A blonde from Dallas, wanting to earn some extra money, decided to hire herself out as a "handy-woman."
She began going door to door and walked up to this large home knocked on the door and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.
"Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch," Russ Potts said, "How much will you charge me?"
The blonde quickly responded, "How about $50?" Russ agreed and told her that the paint and everything she would need were in the garage.
Russ's wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes all the way around the house?" Russ responded, "That's a bit cynical, isn't it?" His wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those 'dumb blonde' jokes we've been getting by e-mail lately."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" Russ asked.
"Yes," the blonde replied," and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats."
Impressed, Russ reached into his pocket for the $50 and handed it to her.
"And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a Porch, it's a Lexus."


Edith Ann said...

A gorgeous young blonde woman gets sick and tired of men trying to pick her up in bars because she's beautiful, blonde, and so men thought she was easy.

One day she decides to show everyone. She goes home and decides to smarten herself up. She decides to learn the capitals of all the fifty states. Week after week she practices until she knows them all.

Finally, she is once again ready to go back to the bar. She sits down and after a few seconds a guy comes up to her and starts hitting on her. It is soon evident that he just wants to take her home and have sex with her.

The lovely blonde says emphatically, "But I'm not just beautiful! I'm smart too!!"

"Yeah, yeah. I believe you," says the young stud. "Now let's go."

Again she protests. "No, really I am smart. I know the capitals of all the states."

The guy starts walking away, getting sick of her. She follows him. "Really, go ahead ask me a state. I'll give you its capitol and show you how smart I am."

Just to get rid of her, the guy says, "Fine. What's the capital of New Mexico?"

The breathtaking blonde looks at him proudly and says. "New Mexico has two capitals: 'N' and 'M'."

The Loon said...

snicker snicker. I just love these awful jokes.

Sugar Magnolia said...

Hee Hee. Funny stuff.

How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one. She holds the bulb and waits for the world to revolve around her.


Edith Ann said...

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started."

Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."

He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then .."

He sighed........ "Let's put all the Frosted Flakes back in the box......."

The Loon said...

Y'all are feeding this madness.

Edith Ann said...

Who started it?

Anonymous said...

Man, welcome to my world, and the poor hub has to deal with it. LOLOL I'm not that blonde, but I remember when I was a lot smarter. Actually, all the true blondes I know are engineers or have Ph.Ds.