I'm an older man, so you can trust what I say ...

The Onion is so funny because it catches the inanity of the journalism we suffer under every single day, as when the nets focus on a fairly insignificant trial in Italy. Pipe this, with the proviso that it may bring a piddling blush of shame to the innocent cheek.

And, while I'm lagging the news biz, I gotta share this little gem by Gheni Platenburg from Page One of the Sept. 28 Vicad:

Tongue titillating smells of carne guisada filled the air as men on the Golden Gecko dance floor sensually and rhythmically turned and dipped women with flowers in their hair and high heels on their feet to the pulsating bongo beats, ardent guitar rifts and sultry lyrics of Enrique Iglesias' "Bailamos."

There is a category in the Bulwer-Lytton 'dark-and-stormy-night' contest for actual egregious journalism. I thought of entering this passage. Them little rifts'll get you every time.