Memorize this

like the pledge of allegiance, and deliver it if you work somewhere they have those dreadful, bogus employee evaluations. I pilfered it from a comments post elsewhere.

Goal: To dedicate myself in a meaningful manner to a results oriented, team cooperative, project driven environment that contributes to the corporate philosophy of customer service and six sigma quality where the expectations of both the shareholders and management are exceeded in a socially and environmentally sensitive fashion.

If you work, for example, at the newspaper, you could mention a commitment to expanding new media outlets, say something about pushing the envelope, be sure and mention something including the words 'the bottom line,' and throw in a little praise for diversity in the newsroom. Don't mention raises.